A little less freedom.A little less freedom.

For years, I've told people that 100% time freedom is the ultimate flex. I've written about it multiple times on LinkedIn (including this past week), posted about it on X, and meant every word when I’ve said it. I think that being able to turn down work you don't enjoy, create your own schedule, and spend your days however you want is an awesome thing.

I spent a long time wanting that kind of life, and now that I have it, I definitely wouldn't trade it away.

Back when I had very little control over my time, I fantasized about everything I'd stop doing if I could. I wouldn’t schedule any meetings, have some overbearing boss, or take on any obligations I didn’t want in the first place.

So I did most of that stuff, and it made my life a whole lot better.

But I’ve also watched other people take this idea to an extreme and end up with a life where nobody needs anything from them. They almost have no obligations at all! That, to me, sounds like the opposite of a rich and rewarding life.

A few weeks ago, I honestly didn't feel like writing this newsletter. I'd been traveling a lot, and I was feeling tired and uncreative. After more than 250 issues in a row without missing, I felt like I'd earned a break. And I certainly didn't have one of those overbearing bosses telling me I couldn't take one.

But I've made a commitment to my readers, so I sat down and wrote the essay anyway. It ended up being my most popular issue in three months, which was, of course, a very nice surprise. I'm glad I didn't let one tired week convince me not to sit down and make it happen.

Yes, I wanted to take the week off, but I also wanted to keep the promise I've made to my readers over the past 250+ weeks. Wanting to get a little rest was a “short-term want,” but delivering for readers mattered to me much more over the long run. Both are completely normal things to wrestle with. But you can only choose one.

The same goes for my twelve-year marriage to Jennifer. We've built an amazing life together, and part of that comes from being flexible about each other's needs and wants. That means sometimes I end up at events I don't want to be at, or doing things I don't want to do. And she does the exact same thing for me. Would I technically be closer to “100% freedom” if I never had to think about or do the stuff that she wanted to do?

Yeah, I guess. But that sounds like a pretty awful marriage to me.

Having the freedom to say no is wonderful. But saying no to everything, clearing your calendar of all obligations, and simply doing whatever you feel like doing can leave you with a whole lot of free time and not much of a life. The best parts of my life have required decades of showing up, investing time, money, and energy into other people, and doing things I didn't always want to do.

Sometimes the best use of your freedom is honoring commitments you care about, even when you'd rather do something else.

So if you're working toward that elusive 100% time freedom, think about what you'd happily stop doing. But I’d also encourage you to give a lot more thought to the people and things you actually do want to show up for, even when it’s not convenient for you. Those are probably the most important parts of the life you’re trying to build.

I'll always want the ability to spend my time however I please. I just hope I'm never so free that the only person I ever have to think about is myself.